Worst nurses EVER

This is my Momma. She's my bestie.



She is absolutely the best person I know. She's literally perfect, and I'd challenge you to find anyone who thinks differently. She is SO sweet, thoughtful, gentle, humble and caring. She's hilarious (whether she means to be or not) and a lot of fun to be around.

But she's also tough as nails!



LOVE this picture of her. It reminds me of the terminator for some reason. Got it saved as "toughbarbie".

We all love her dearly just for who she is, but also because she does such a good job taking care of us.





We know exactly how blessed we are to have her, and we would do anything in this world for her. But that doesn't always mean we're good at it...

She's had a rough couple of years health wise.




And when she's convalesced... everybody's screwed.

I still haven't figured out how she's able to single handedly care for all of us... yet with all our powers combined, we can't manage to do the same for her!

For example:
Dad and I go to visit her in the hospital over lunch one day. Lunch hour ends, we give her a squeeze, and we're out the door.

~I get a text a little while later~

"Thanks for the visit! I'm still reclined.. still have to pee.. chair is locked and call button is hanging on the wall.. Um, hello? Can anybody hear me? LOL, no haven't started yelling yet but will be soon!"

~20 minutes later~

"No worries now. I wiggled my way to the end of the chair and reached my walker. Peed and now snuggled in bed with the call button. :)"

Yeah. We totally left her stranded without her call button or a way to the bathroom. Awesome.

Example #2:
After being released from the hospital, Dallas and I go out to the house to see her.

Me: How's everything?

Mom: Fine!

Me: Are the boys being good nurses?

Mom: ~hesitates~ Yeah! I'm supposed to keep my toes pointing up, so he (crammed) a pillow between my feet for me. Then earlier when I was sitting in the chair he walked too close to me and kicked my foot. *giggles* Oh, and I had to remind him to feed me dinner. *laughs* And, every time he hears my walker make noise, he tries to boss me and tell me to sit back down. *snickers behind her hand because she doesn't listen to him at all*. He's a REAL good nurse!

Dad: Hey!

The Rest of Us: Haha! Hahahahaha!! HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAAA!!!

Example #3:
Lunch today. Grandma picks her up, then they swing by my work to get me for Mexican food. Grandma and I get out of the car, jabbering, and head towards the restaurant. We're half way there when I hear Mom mumbling to herself.

Mom: Oh. Well... I guess I can just try.. to..

~Bang, clang, bang.~

Me: OHMYCRAP!

We'd failed to help her out of the car or get her walker out of the back seat for her. She'd already gotten it herself by the time we realized and got back to her.

We ate lunch, I did my typical spilling of the salsa, but was uneventful otherwise. Walk up to the counter to pay and mom decides to use their bathroom.

Me and grandma: Jabber, jabber, blah, blah.

~Bang, clang, bang.~

Me: OHCRAP!

Neither of us waited to get the bathroom door for her. She comes zooming around the corner, unassisted, anyway.

Me: *sheepishly* Sorryyyyy....

Mom: *giggles* No problem!

Pay for lunch, actually remember to hold the door open for her, proceed to car.

Grandma and I: Blee, blee, jibber, jabber.

~Bang, clang, bounce.~

Mom mumbling to herself: Oh. Well, I guess I can just.. get this.. on my own..

Me: OHCRAPAGAIN!

Yep. Forgot to get her in the car and put her walker away for her. She did that on her own, too.

I'm mentally working my way back through the Stearman family tree, and I can't think of one health care professional in the lot. No doubt its for the best. I don't see any of us prospering in that field.

Sorry we suck, Mom!