Belated Thankfulness

I missed the blogger bandwagon of things I'm thankful for pre-Thanksgiving. So I'll do that now.

Ahem...

Things I'm thankful for!



My husband, in all his moustached glory.



My folks, who pulled off a stellar Thanksgiving even though mom was "lame".



My ornery brudder, who thinks I'm the best thing since sliced pepperjack cheese.



My sweet little miniature Grandma.



My new, and equally wonderful family.



And especially for this little punkin.

And speaking of little punkins... Guess who kicked hard enough for his daddy to feel??

Phoney Woes

I don't know about you guys, but us two McCarters use our phones for a lot of things. Texting, IM'ing, Facebooking, internet exploring, Ebaying, photo taking and sending, gaming, and even on rare occasions.. placing actual phone calls.

I'm lucky enough that my company provides me an iPhone, and it is awesoooooome, so that's what Dallas got too. And since I figured out that yahoo IM works from my computer directly to his iphone, and vice versa, I'm pretty much in constant contact whether he likes it or not.

That is, until he decided to put his phone on the hood of his truck while doing some work... and then forgetting where it was when he zoomed off.

*SIGH*

This sucks on several levels! 1) That thing wasn't insured. 2) He's not receiving the IM's I'm still sending out of habit. 3) We can't play words with friends.

So, since he's not getting all my super important, earth shattering messages, I've complied them for his later review here:

~ It's cold outside!

~ I had frost on my windshield this morning, yo. Bout killed a kid because it wasn't totally defrosted before I pulled out.

~ You know that line growing down from my button? I learned this morning that it's not where the Good Lord stitched me up, like you said. It's a "linea nigra". That's all I know.

~ Work has cookies.

~ How did we get pink pacifiers on the registry? I fixed it. Can't be having a wuss.

~ Amy hearts Dallas

~ *kick, squirm, poke*

~ Uh oh.. now there's a cookie on my desk.

~ It's not there anymore. I had it for second breakfast.

~ I love you!

~ SQUIRRELLLLLL!!! Hahaha... that's from Christmas Vacation AND because there's a squirrel in the tree outside my window.

Now. Dallas partly blamed me for the lost iphone because he said he left it out because he was getting "rapid fire IM's" and it wasn't worth pulling it out of his pocket every time it dinged. Initially, I didn't believe him. But upon closer inspection, he may actually be on to something.

However, I'm not the only one in this relationship known to send a random IM at an inopportune time. Some of my faves from D:

~ I just saw Jesus on a crotch rocket!

~ I look like an insurance salesman today.

~ I'm going to grow my sideburns into triangles

~ My hairs are getting so long it looks like I've got a Mississippi mudflap. *kicks dirt and spits*

~ *random thought and his very passionate response to it*

~ *random political update and his very passionate response to it*

~ *sings part of random song and includes his very passionate thoughts about it*

~ I love you


We're going to get him a new phone after work tonight.

I priced them today.

The last text I sent him said:

"I pity the fooooooool who falls in love with you, cause being in love wit yo a** ain't cheap!"

If you're not familiar with that little gem, you can catch up here:

Blame it on the Hormonies

Yeah, I know that's spelled wrong. Didn't you guys ever see My Big, Fat, Greek Wedding??

Dallas and I don't get very many weekends to ourselves as he's on call on average every other weekend, plus almost every single week night. So when we get some time off, we try to take full advantage. And this weekend? We were in baby shopping mode.

After our third attempt, we finally managed to start the registry process. Twice before, we'd walked in and then I'd gotten totally overwhelmed by the sheer volume of crap, the desire to attain only the most needed items of the crap, and the nagging question of which pieces of crap says "Baby Boy McCarter" best? A helpful little lass at Babies R Us gave us a "must have" check list that did help, though we still wrote off about half of that list as unnecessary thanks to the advice of some of those who have gone before us.

If any of you decide to check out the registry, you'll probably laugh. It's got to be about the most boring compilation of baby items on the market! I'm adverse to the idea of my kid having a theme or becoming a billboard, so everything we picked out is very neutral. From the beige color of the crib set we liked, to the value packs of white onsies, to the black and grey of the car seat (to match the interior of our vehicles, of course) to the browns of the pack and play (that will match the rest of our furniture). We also clicked on every single kind of diaper and formula available because we get 10% off anything on the registry that doesn't sell. ;)

Speaking of kids as billboards - I saw a bib recently that said "I'm the result of Mommy kissing Santa Clause". Ewww!!

Anyway, we've got that mostly done. Now it's time to shop nursery furniture. I struggled with this for two reasons: 1) It all looks the same, but apparently sports different and well hidden safety/future uses/quality. 2) I'm trying to decorate a room that doesn't exist yet.

So I'm trying to keep this in mind, while balancing the realities of starting out here where we have much less space. Like, 1/4 of the space. It's tricky. It's frustrating. It is, at times, overwhelming.

We left empty handed again. And y'all know how my mind works. A minor unknown quickly snowballs into full on catastrophe. That's where I ended up last night, bless Dallas' soul. As far as he knew, we were just watching "The Ultimate Fighter", but in my world, I was rearranging an already cramped living space, crunching numbers, spending dollars, worrying about things that won't happen for months yet, getting mad that the house, the boat and the timeshare are ALL still for sale, and for some reason... worrying about future bullies picking on my kid! What the?? Before I knew it, I was in tears for no real reason. Dallas was taken by surprise, but handled me with his usual patience and grace. But I just remained sort of weepy the rest of the night... and into this morning.

I have to blame the naughty hormonies. I assume most mothers-to-be are worried and nervous and scared. I'm only surprised its taken me this long!

We visited a new church yesterday, and the sermon was about being thankful and offering up praise no matter where you are in life. Pretty sure he didn't mean my literal, physical place, but I still felt like he was talking directly to me, and I've been praying for patience, grace and peace of mind while we wait.

And now, to end on a happy note! We had another appointment last Friday, at which I was 22 weeks. Everything is still perfect. I'm healthy, and so is the baby. He weighs a pound now, and is about 8 inches long. By the end of the month, he will have doubled in weight! I'm glad for this because all the pictures of babies at 22 weeks are skinny and wrinkly and alienesque. But, so, as he gains weight so will I! She said an average of a pound a week from here on out is pretty normal. Holy schneikies, I've already gained 15!!

And here is the current baby bump:



He's gone from feeling like little bubbles fizzing in my tummy, to a little poke here and there, to a full on squirming machine! I'm loving it, and can't wait for him to get strong enough to kick hard enough for his daddy to feel!

PS - I really do not mean to come off as whiney or ungrateful for the many things and blessings we DO have! I really am fully aware of all the good, nay, WONDERFUL things I have going for me. This is just a little way for me to get some of my worries and neuroses out... Saying them outloud or writing them down somehow makes them less daunting. Thanks for your patience!

Worst nurses EVER

This is my Momma. She's my bestie.



She is absolutely the best person I know. She's literally perfect, and I'd challenge you to find anyone who thinks differently. She is SO sweet, thoughtful, gentle, humble and caring. She's hilarious (whether she means to be or not) and a lot of fun to be around.

But she's also tough as nails!



LOVE this picture of her. It reminds me of the terminator for some reason. Got it saved as "toughbarbie".

We all love her dearly just for who she is, but also because she does such a good job taking care of us.





We know exactly how blessed we are to have her, and we would do anything in this world for her. But that doesn't always mean we're good at it...

She's had a rough couple of years health wise.




And when she's convalesced... everybody's screwed.

I still haven't figured out how she's able to single handedly care for all of us... yet with all our powers combined, we can't manage to do the same for her!

For example:
Dad and I go to visit her in the hospital over lunch one day. Lunch hour ends, we give her a squeeze, and we're out the door.

~I get a text a little while later~

"Thanks for the visit! I'm still reclined.. still have to pee.. chair is locked and call button is hanging on the wall.. Um, hello? Can anybody hear me? LOL, no haven't started yelling yet but will be soon!"

~20 minutes later~

"No worries now. I wiggled my way to the end of the chair and reached my walker. Peed and now snuggled in bed with the call button. :)"

Yeah. We totally left her stranded without her call button or a way to the bathroom. Awesome.

Example #2:
After being released from the hospital, Dallas and I go out to the house to see her.

Me: How's everything?

Mom: Fine!

Me: Are the boys being good nurses?

Mom: ~hesitates~ Yeah! I'm supposed to keep my toes pointing up, so he (crammed) a pillow between my feet for me. Then earlier when I was sitting in the chair he walked too close to me and kicked my foot. *giggles* Oh, and I had to remind him to feed me dinner. *laughs* And, every time he hears my walker make noise, he tries to boss me and tell me to sit back down. *snickers behind her hand because she doesn't listen to him at all*. He's a REAL good nurse!

Dad: Hey!

The Rest of Us: Haha! Hahahahaha!! HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAAAA!!!

Example #3:
Lunch today. Grandma picks her up, then they swing by my work to get me for Mexican food. Grandma and I get out of the car, jabbering, and head towards the restaurant. We're half way there when I hear Mom mumbling to herself.

Mom: Oh. Well... I guess I can just try.. to..

~Bang, clang, bang.~

Me: OHMYCRAP!

We'd failed to help her out of the car or get her walker out of the back seat for her. She'd already gotten it herself by the time we realized and got back to her.

We ate lunch, I did my typical spilling of the salsa, but was uneventful otherwise. Walk up to the counter to pay and mom decides to use their bathroom.

Me and grandma: Jabber, jabber, blah, blah.

~Bang, clang, bang.~

Me: OHCRAP!

Neither of us waited to get the bathroom door for her. She comes zooming around the corner, unassisted, anyway.

Me: *sheepishly* Sorryyyyy....

Mom: *giggles* No problem!

Pay for lunch, actually remember to hold the door open for her, proceed to car.

Grandma and I: Blee, blee, jibber, jabber.

~Bang, clang, bounce.~

Mom mumbling to herself: Oh. Well, I guess I can just.. get this.. on my own..

Me: OHCRAPAGAIN!

Yep. Forgot to get her in the car and put her walker away for her. She did that on her own, too.

I'm mentally working my way back through the Stearman family tree, and I can't think of one health care professional in the lot. No doubt its for the best. I don't see any of us prospering in that field.

Sorry we suck, Mom!

A case of the Ickies

I didn't feel so hot yesterday and ended up staying home. I've tried really hard not to pull the pregnancy card, but it sucks when you feel like poo and you're not allowed to take any good drugs. Tylenol just doesn't always cut it.

I drug myself out of bed and to the couch long enough to turn on the TV and get totally disturbed by all the "Birth Day", "A Baby Story", "Bring Home Baby", etc. shows that are on during the daytime. The aftermath of the stories were all yay, but getting there looks bad and I don't want to fill my head with all that. Ignorance is bliss, yes? I'm sure I'll figure it out when the time comes, and that it's probably best not to psyche myself out beforehand. ;) Turned off the TV.

Moved to the floor to snuggle Toby. (Andy had a new chew stick and couldn't be bothered.)



Moved off the floor and back to bed where I read. And by the way - How did I miss this?? And more importantly - why didn't any of you tell me about it?!?



I love it! Downloaded the second one today. Hope Dallas doesn't expect much out of me until the next 6 are also downloaded and read.

Turned Kindle off, laid around, napped, texted D to complain of my woes, texted him more each time the little boy kicked me and blamed his orneriness on his father, took more regular strength Tylenol, played words with friends, and kept a close eye on all FB happenings. Dug through the old pics on my phone and found this:



HA! Doesn't he look so deliciously snobby?? "Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon??" Heh.

Then this song was running through my head the entire day. I've only heard it a few times though, so I just kept repeating "drink a little drink, smoke a little smooooke". I dig it.



I'm back to fighting form today though - watch out! (Baby also says watch out, and then proves his point with a firm judo chop.)

Why I love Hubby, #326

He makes me delicious Pomegranate Apple Crisp.



And then snuggles Toby while it bakes.

That's Right!

I changed my blog's name again! Sue me!! :P

It's a BOY!!!

This is my precious little boy.



This is how he stretches and yawns.



This is him with his darling little fist up by his face.



He's so brilliant, he is already making a gun with his fingers so he can play Cowboys and Indians with his daddy.



See how limber he is? He's going to be a superior athlete, I think.



Giving us the "thumbs up".. such a thoughtful little fella letting his folks know everything's ok in his world.



And this is his perfect little foot.

He'll never do anything wrong... I'm already sure of it. Well, at least not in his momma's eyes. ;)

Friday morning was the longest in my entire life. Our sonogram wasn't until 1:15, you see. I tried to get work done, I really did! I attempted to focus and concentrate and be productive, but my eye kept wandering to the clock, and my mind wouldn't cooperate with anything I was trying to do.

Lunchtime finally rolled around so Dallas and I attempted to eat, simply because that's the thing to do at noon. But I didn't taste my enchilada at all. I don't remember paying the bill. At 12:45 I convinced him that if WE got there early, maybe THEY would get us in early! He gave me his "skeptical face" that I recognize so well, but he went along with me anyway, as I knew he would, because he's wonderful like that.

Hands shaking, I clicked through their computer program to let them know that I was there. If bullhorns and strobe lights were allowed, I would have brought them to announce our arrival, but instead I just signed my name and then sat down, eyes glued to the door I knew they would be calling me from.

Dallas attempted to distract me by pointing out interesting articles, or things we might need in the parenting magazines they had on hand, but I couldn't spare a glance more than a second or two before my eyes were back on that door.. willing it to open.

Dallas: "See this belly band? Maybe we should get you one so your jeans are more comfy for you."

Me: "Hmm? Yeah, Jelly Bellys... those are good."

Dallas: "This car seat has the highest safety rating in it's class."

Me: "No thanks honey, I like the Hummer just fine."

After a while he gave up, and just endured the death grip I had on his hand.

Me: "HOW ARE YOU SO CALM?!"

Dallas: "They'll call us back any minute now.. we'll know soon enough."

Me: "NOT SOON ENOUGH!! I DON'T GET IT. WHY AREN'T YOU FREAKING OUT??"

Dallas: "Uhh, I guess cause it's 1:10 and I'll know very soon."

Me: "YOU'RE NUTS!"

Dallas: *skeptical face*

The thing is... Neither of us cared either way if it was a boy or a girl. No, really! This may very well be the only time we do this, so we were just going to be happy and feel blessed regardless. I was just so very ridiculously excited to get to know this little booger a little bit better, to see his picture again, to hear that everything is progressing well... AND to know if I'd be buying a chandelier for my daughter's room, or a bear skin rug for my son's.

So finally, FINALLY at 1:17, they call my name and I sprint for the door, plowing through doctors and medical staff alike in my haste to get to the darkened room. I threw the camera at Dallas, helped myself to the chair, and yanked my shirt up.



And then time stood still for about 20 minutes. We saw our little baby moving around, stretching, and yawning. All the measurements were perfect, as was the heartbeat, all the chambers of his heart, and even his tiny little lips were there on the screen, not a flaw to be found.

She had asked us if we were able to find out the sex, if we'd like to know. She was answered with a resounding YES!!! Trouble is... Baby McCarter takes after his daddy (Moi? Surely you jest!) and was a little stubborn. We got most of the measurements she wanted without a problem, but he wasn't cooperating with some of the others, not to mention the holy grail - the booty shot.

So she had me get up for a minute, use the restroom, try to wake him up a little so we could get him moving around so we could see the rest of him. Hmm. Maybe it's not that he's stubborn. Maybe he's just modest. Now THAT sounds more like his momma. (yeah, right)

So I did all that and it seemed to work pretty well. I couldn't tell what I was looking at for the most part anyway, so I just trusted her when she told me that that blob was the umbilical cord and it's good, and that's his blood flowing, and that's good. And then she froze the frame.

Her: "OK.. Here's one leg, curled up to his chest, and then the other..."

(All along, I'd felt like he was a boy.. but when I figured out what she was pointing at, I knew for sure before she even said it)

"...and here is the penis."



I started to cry. I looked over at Dallas who had one very manly, very non-sissy, tear pooled up in his eye. Then I cried some more.

It felt right immediately. A son. This is our boy.

I marveled briefly at the rightness of the moment, of how all those puzzle pieces of both of our lives had finally found their mates to bring us to this point together. And then I thanked God for His goodness and His plan for our lives. All three of them.

Then reality settled in again and I realized she was still talking, and that Dallas was squeezing my leg for all he was worth, and I tried to re-focus on the goodness of hearing that everything is developing just perfectly and that we're already at the halfway point.

Knowing for sure that we're having a little boy doesn't make it any more "real" to me... but it does somehow give him a personality in my mind and allows me to plan for him and know him a little better before he gets here. And we are just SO excited to meet the little fella.

I keep getting random texts from D: "We're having a BOY!!! :D:D:D" Hehehee...

We went shopping this weekend for baby stuff, but got totally overwhelmed and left with nothing but a belly band for me, and a package of diapers.. though we haven't a clue if they're the right kind or not. At any rate, we're excited and trying really hard to plan for ~insert name here~.

That's right! I don't think we're going to tell you the name! Muah ah ah ah ahhhh!! We gotta keep ONE surprise, right? RIGHT?!

iPod Faith

My mom sent this to me and it resonated on more than one level.

Show me your ways, O Lord, teach me your paths; guide me in your truths and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long." Psalm 25:4-5 (NIV)

When I was a kid, I had tapes of the music I liked. When I was in college, I had CDs. The point was, when I liked a song, I had to buy the whole tape or CD to get that song.

Sometimes you could buy the cassette single and sometimes you could get lucky enough to tape it from the radio. (Anyone else remember sitting by the radio waiting to catch your favorite song so you could hit record?) But for the most part, you had to buy the whole enchilada.

A funny thing happened when you bought the whole tape or CD, though. Not always, but a lot of the time you found other songs you liked by that artist. Your eyes were opened to other possibilities. (Hang on... I am going somewhere with this...) You discovered a song that you felt like no one else knew about but you because you didn't hear it on the radio. It became personal because it wasn't popular. It was what you found when you were looking for something else.

Now music has changed. One of my kids hears a song and within moments they can get online and have it downloaded to their iPod for $1. No trip to the mall with your hard-earned money, no waiting for your mom to have time to drive you. Just a few clicks and press play. And you also don't have to buy anything you didn't want or know about. You just got what you wanted, when you wanted it. It has revolutionized the music industry. But is it necessarily better that way?

I spent time last week going back through old songs I loved, many of which were songs that were never popular, that most people never heard of. I found them because I had bought the whole tape of some band's latest release. I like them so much because they weren't popular, therefore they didn't get overplayed. They felt mine.

How often I want my faith the way I want my iPod—instant gratification without having to wade through the unknowns. I want what I want when I want it. Point click and play. I don't want God to require me to buy the whole album—to deal with the parts I don't know or like, to take the time to listen to things I might not want to hear.

And yet, I gained a lot from wading through the stuff I never would have tried without being forced. There were unexpected treasures to be found, surprises I ended up valuing more than what I originally set out to find. I wanted to be a mother but I didn't want the sleepless nights and being stretched to the point of breaking. I wanted to be married but I didn't want to learn how to get along with another person day in and day out, to discover what sacrifice really means. I wanted to be a novelist but I didn't want to have to work so hard to make it happen. I wanted to lose weight but I didn't want to exercise daily or control my cravings. I wanted what I wanted, and God used those desires to build my character along the way, and draw me closer to Him in the process.

Call me old school (you wouldn't be the first) but I don't want an iPod faith. Just because it's more convenient or faster doesn't mean it's the best way. Sometimes being open to what you weren't expecting is the best way to find what you were looking for all along.

Dear Lord, help me to remember when You ask me to wait it is for my best. Help me to trust in the process You're taking me through. And help me remember that You are on the other side of every trial, waiting with a new perspective, a new vision, a new hope. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

Brotherly Love

A conversation via text message with my brother this morning:

Tanner: I'm eating some delicious pasta salad Mom made for me and not for you.

Me: We have a birthday here so I'm eating donuts, cinnamon rolls, chips and salsa and crackers and cheese... mmm...

Tanner: Oh yeah? Well I have a (soon to be) award winning beard! What now!!? ...chump...



Me: I have this thing that will eff you up. That's what!



Tanner: I have this guy who asks, "Are your hands bloated?"



Me: Keep talking. This will be up your butt shortly.



Tanner: Think it can get this high with your belly in the way?



Me: No problem. Baby has been kicking like crazy, so I'll just have him take care of my light work.

On Voting

Dallas: "You're registered as an Independent??"

Me: "Yes. Does that make you love me less?"

Dallas: "No... It makes me tolerate you more."

Colorful Colorado

We went on a babymoon to Colorado! And it was wonderful and beautiful and country songs that probably have nothing to do with Colorado played in my mind the entire time.

"Cimarron, roll on.... to the ocean blueeeeeeee"

"Ghost riders in the skyyyyyyyyyyy"

"Amarillo by morning, up from San Antoneeeee"

"Don't fence me innnnnn"

Cowboys like to draw out that last syllable I guess. Some of those stick with me because of the Flyin W Wranglers. We didn't go this time around, but I'd see their sign and my boot would start tapping.



We hung around the cabin quite a bit (Thanks again, Tim and Jane!!), went up to Cripple Creek, which is just so sad to me now. Petted some donkeys. Showed Dallas all the dirty hippies in Manitou Springs. Crawled around Garden of the Gods. Took Rampart Range Road. Shopped in Old Colorado City. Ate, napped, ate, napped, ate.



Looking down over Cripple Creek. Doc Holiday killed a guy there, right? It's mostly just casinos now though.



Dallas made a buddy while we were there. I remember a family trip when we were little, and some donkeys came up to us in our bronco looking for snacks. Tanner stuck his chubby little hand out and told them: "Get away! Get back!" Then one sneezed on dad. Bwahaa!



This is Dallas in Manitou Springs. They have spouts all over the place where you can taste the mineral water. D stuck his finger in this one and promptly proclaimed: "I hate it!"



Manitou has a Christmas shop I always have to stop in. "Oh Come, All Ye Faithfuuuuul", I happily sang and pranced around. Dallas pretended to spit. He fancies himself a grinch.



We spent most of one day in my favorite spot - Garden of the Gods.



Dallas in the Garden in his tough guy voice (in my head): "Lovely day. Pretty rocks. Don't mess with me though, or I'll eff you up." My little toughy pants.



Gratuitous "Check me out holding up the balanced rock all by myself" shot.



This is me being 5 months pregnant in the Garden of the Gods.

Me: "Can ya tell??"
Dallas: "Nope."
Me: (sticks tummy out) "Now can ya tell?"
Dallas: "Nope."



From Garden of the Gods, you can take Rampart Range Road back to Woodland Park. On 24, it might take you 20 minutes or so. Rampart took us about 2 hours to go 25 miles. It's real steep and scary and bumpy. This is me at the overlook.

We got home on Sunday night, which was Halloween. I'd kind of forgotten about it because all of those little mountain towns celebrated the whole time we were there. We walked amongst zombies, witches and werewolfes, and Manitou even had a coffin race. I'd had my fill and was pretty much over it. But we accidentally pull back in to town right at prime trick-or-treating time and are unpacking when the doorbell rings.

"Oh crap." We stare at each other blankly.

Dallas opens the door to some kids trick-or-treating. We rifle through the pantry and throw some paprika or something equally un-Halloweeney at them then promptly shut off the light and lock the door. Yeah, we're THOSE neighbors.

We picked up the puppy boys from the McCarter Farms last night and they're all fat and sassy. We sure appreciated them watching the boys with all of Toby's spazziness and Andy's special needs. They came back to us happier than before we'd dropped them off, and they told me before bedtime that they had a fun vacation too. :)