Blame it on the Hormonies

Yeah, I know that's spelled wrong. Didn't you guys ever see My Big, Fat, Greek Wedding??

Dallas and I don't get very many weekends to ourselves as he's on call on average every other weekend, plus almost every single week night. So when we get some time off, we try to take full advantage. And this weekend? We were in baby shopping mode.

After our third attempt, we finally managed to start the registry process. Twice before, we'd walked in and then I'd gotten totally overwhelmed by the sheer volume of crap, the desire to attain only the most needed items of the crap, and the nagging question of which pieces of crap says "Baby Boy McCarter" best? A helpful little lass at Babies R Us gave us a "must have" check list that did help, though we still wrote off about half of that list as unnecessary thanks to the advice of some of those who have gone before us.

If any of you decide to check out the registry, you'll probably laugh. It's got to be about the most boring compilation of baby items on the market! I'm adverse to the idea of my kid having a theme or becoming a billboard, so everything we picked out is very neutral. From the beige color of the crib set we liked, to the value packs of white onsies, to the black and grey of the car seat (to match the interior of our vehicles, of course) to the browns of the pack and play (that will match the rest of our furniture). We also clicked on every single kind of diaper and formula available because we get 10% off anything on the registry that doesn't sell. ;)

Speaking of kids as billboards - I saw a bib recently that said "I'm the result of Mommy kissing Santa Clause". Ewww!!

Anyway, we've got that mostly done. Now it's time to shop nursery furniture. I struggled with this for two reasons: 1) It all looks the same, but apparently sports different and well hidden safety/future uses/quality. 2) I'm trying to decorate a room that doesn't exist yet.

So I'm trying to keep this in mind, while balancing the realities of starting out here where we have much less space. Like, 1/4 of the space. It's tricky. It's frustrating. It is, at times, overwhelming.

We left empty handed again. And y'all know how my mind works. A minor unknown quickly snowballs into full on catastrophe. That's where I ended up last night, bless Dallas' soul. As far as he knew, we were just watching "The Ultimate Fighter", but in my world, I was rearranging an already cramped living space, crunching numbers, spending dollars, worrying about things that won't happen for months yet, getting mad that the house, the boat and the timeshare are ALL still for sale, and for some reason... worrying about future bullies picking on my kid! What the?? Before I knew it, I was in tears for no real reason. Dallas was taken by surprise, but handled me with his usual patience and grace. But I just remained sort of weepy the rest of the night... and into this morning.

I have to blame the naughty hormonies. I assume most mothers-to-be are worried and nervous and scared. I'm only surprised its taken me this long!

We visited a new church yesterday, and the sermon was about being thankful and offering up praise no matter where you are in life. Pretty sure he didn't mean my literal, physical place, but I still felt like he was talking directly to me, and I've been praying for patience, grace and peace of mind while we wait.

And now, to end on a happy note! We had another appointment last Friday, at which I was 22 weeks. Everything is still perfect. I'm healthy, and so is the baby. He weighs a pound now, and is about 8 inches long. By the end of the month, he will have doubled in weight! I'm glad for this because all the pictures of babies at 22 weeks are skinny and wrinkly and alienesque. But, so, as he gains weight so will I! She said an average of a pound a week from here on out is pretty normal. Holy schneikies, I've already gained 15!!

And here is the current baby bump:



He's gone from feeling like little bubbles fizzing in my tummy, to a little poke here and there, to a full on squirming machine! I'm loving it, and can't wait for him to get strong enough to kick hard enough for his daddy to feel!

PS - I really do not mean to come off as whiney or ungrateful for the many things and blessings we DO have! I really am fully aware of all the good, nay, WONDERFUL things I have going for me. This is just a little way for me to get some of my worries and neuroses out... Saying them outloud or writing them down somehow makes them less daunting. Thanks for your patience!