Pregnancy brain... fo ril...

When we first found out we were expecting, and truthfully, even before that point, I swore to myself that I wouldn't be one of those girls who do nothing but complain about being pregnant, blame everything on the pregnancy, or talk incessantly about what it's like to be pregnant. You know the type... I've always feared becoming "that girl".

Now, you know that saying, "you never know a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes?" Now that I've walked almost the full mile in my orthopaedic pregnant girl shoes.. I understand why pregnant girls constantly want to talk about being pregnant! It changes and affects EVERYTHING! I've had a ridiculously easy go so far - no sickness, no side effects or crazy weight gain, healthy baby and healthy mommy - but the fact that I'm pregnant still seems to seep into every facet of my thoughts and every day life.

On cleaning the bathroom:
Dallas: Are you supposed to be around those bleach fumes?
Amy: Uhhhmm... I dunno.

On having a headache:
Amy: I have a headache!
Dallas: Here are two, regular strength non-coated tylenol. Good luck.

On getting dressed:
Dallas: Dang, cleave.
Amy: I can't help it, yo! This is a maternity bra AND shirt! *tries to further tamp down boobs*

On eating/drinking:
Amy: I would enjoy some sushi, feta cheese, and a glass of wine, please.
Dallas: HA! Dream on, sister.

On the baby's movements:
Amy: Dang! Kid is building a birdhouse on my bladder and using my rib as leverage. And PS, he is (insert size here) and (insert developmental stage here) and (insert what he can be expected to do by this time next week here).

See?! It just happens! I can't even help it. People talk and complain about this stuff because it happens fo ril. Whowouldathunk??

But you know what maybe the worst part of it is for me? That mythical creature, pregnancy brain. (dun, dun, DUNNNNNN) Turns out this is A REAL THING!!! I feel addled and confused most of the time, and I forever have that nagging feeling that I'm forgetting something - probably because I actually have. This is a doubly bad thing because Dallas' mind tends to work 100mph and he can't be bothered with remembering the mundane so I'm required to remember things like making sure his house keys aren't in the door all night, where his wallet is at all times, and when his next dentist appointment is. *sigh* We're in a bad state.

Me, yesterday:

~Driving along, minding my own business, decide I want to change radio stations.~
Me: Boo, I hate this song. I will just push this button to change the... Why isn't the station changing? Why is this awful song just getting louder? Dang you, Katy Perry! Ah, turning up the volume doesn't change stations. That's why.

~Driving along, minding my own business, need to pass car in front of me.~
Me: This fool is too slow. I will just apply my blinker, and.. wait - why did the station just change? Ah. Because that's the station changer button, not the blinker. Attempts blinker again. Washes windshield instead.

~Realizes I still haven't purchased thank-you cards for wonderful showers.~
Me: I will stop at this here Target to get cute thank-you's. Oh! Dallas needs ibuprofen. Oh! I want a new toothbrush. What! This maternity dress is on sale?! Score! Leaves Target with armload of goodies, minus thank-you's.

~Realizes I still haven't purchased thank-you cards for wonderful showers.~
Me: Crap, must stop at stupid, hated Walmart instead. Obtains cute thank-you's, walks to door and waits for it to open. Why isn't this effing door opening? Waves hand, kicks foot at the door. Nothing. Fails to notice big, giant "PUSH" sign posted until fellow shopper pushes door open and walks through. Jeeeeez...

So yeah, who's the dummy now? The girl who swore she'd be the cool, happy, appreciative pregnant girl, only to fall into every cliched pregnancy trap instead? *points to self*

And what's next, I ask myself? Having this here kid and forgetting anything else in the world even exists? Pretty sure that's the next step, but oddly enough... I'm ok with that. :)