Snicket

A couple of years ago my grandmother decided that they needed a "buddy". AKA, a dog. My folks tried their darnedest to talk her out of it. They reminded her how much work a puppy can be, how hard it is to train them, how much it sucks to take them out in the winter, vet bills, grooming bills, you name it, they used it! But those of you who know my grandmother also know that she is not so easily dissuaded. A dog she wanted, and a dog she got!

My then sister-in-law was a vet in Junction City and she happened to mention a little Shih-Tzu (or in my opinion, some sort of mutant Shih-Tzu mix) that had been abandoned and was found wandering around a car wash. Grandma had found her dog!

Much to the family's chagrin, Grandma brought home Snickers. No wait, make that Cricket. Ooorrrrrrr Snickers again. Nah, let's stick with Cricket after all. (This early confusion is how he ended up as Snicket.) Snicket could be seen wandering around the yard with Grandpa, sniffing this, peeing on that. Family functions were more interesting with him jumping on laps, squeezing his way onto your dining room chair, and chasing Sophie all over the place. Sophie doesn't love him, but in all fairness... Sophie doesn't care for any other doggies.

Since my parents are adverse to the idea of puppysitting (even their own beloved grandpuppy), Grandma and I have worked out a trade off. I go out of town, she watches my little Sophie angel. She leaves, and I get the dreaded Snicket. And I have had the dreaded Snicket for the past four days. Even though Uncle Tim showed up in town and stayed at her house, I still couldn't catch a break and deliver him early! (And I know you're reading this, Tim. And I totally posted before you did.) Grandma even combed him and bathed him in some sort of Old Spice cologne smelling stuff for his visit. Now my house smells of old man, but that is beside the point.

I haven't run across many animals I don't like, but there is something off about this dog! (The total lack of training, methinks?) The last time I watched him, he walked into the living room and pottied. Right there in front of all of us. Then later, he went downstairs and tried to write his name in my rug. He runs towards oncoming vehicles, he goes into the neighbors houses, he would rather you sit on him or run him over than move to get out of your way, and the dog STARES. I'm sleeping, he's staring at me. I'm doing laundry, he's staring at me. I'm in the bath tub, he comes in and just stares at me! Creeeeepy...

Also, he ignored his own food and ate all of Sophie's so she had to eat what was left of his and it made her sick and she threw up on the bed. Awesome.

So it's finally time for Snicket to go home. Grandma and I are even - DC vs. Branson. I load his kennel and all of his toys in the car. I put him in the back seat and we're off. Except that Snicket doesn't want to sit in the back seat. He wants to jump up to the passenger seat and snot all over the window. But then he decides he doesn't like the passenger seat either and wants to drive, so he jumps over to my seat onto my BACK, while I'm trying to drive his crazy tail home! ARGHHHH Snicket! Grandma will be sad if I throw you out the window right now, so just get in the back seat, hold on and shut up!

We finally arrived at Grandma's unscathed, but you know what the kicker is? I'm trying to go out of town over Memorial Day so I'll be in puppysitting debt again!

*Sighs loudly...*